“I have been waiting for you! Listen:
“Before we saw Jesus for the first time, we had heard a lot about Him from John the Baptist and had been waiting for His coming. Yet despite the fact that we had been anticipating it and preparing ourselves, a miracle happened — the great miracle of being with Him, Living!
“None of us were ready for encompassing at once the knowledge that Jesus brought… He taught us… He taught when He was speaking or keeping silence, when He was edifying others, when He was eating together with us meager food shared equally, when we had no place to stay overnight, when people were praising Him and when they were blaming Him… Every moment of being near Him was education for us…
“I would like to recount one episode… It was before the beginning of our apostolic Service. Once, Jesus sent some of us to heal and to preach in a village, but He Himself did not go with us…
“We walked joyfully and proudly: Jesus entrusted us to heal with His Power!
“In the village, we tried to speak as He would speak and repeated His words. Then we began to heal, but nothing happened… There were no miracles… We only incurred ridicule:
‘Where is your God?! You are deceivers!’.
“… We came back disgraced…
“Jesus met us with words:
‘Where is your faith? Where is your love? Where was your Father when you were healing?’.
‘He was with You…’
‘If He is with Me and not with you, Andrew, then who will heal? You?
‘When you are doing His Work — the Father rather than Andrew must be in your body! It is the Father Who gives the blessing and power! He does the work with your hands! If there is no His Will, words cannot help: the lame will remain lame, the blind will not recover the sight…’.
“And Jesus said to us:
‘We cannot, because no one will believe us there anymore! Let us go to another village…’.
“Jesus said again:
‘Go back and let the Father go in each of you! Do not be afraid of ridicule! And if they want to beat you, also do not be afraid! Do not be afraid of death! Do not be afraid of pain! Heal those pointed by Him and show thus His Power and His Love! I will be with you!’.
“… And we went. People laughed at us. And stones flew. But each of us felt the Light of Love of Jesus and the Power of the Father… And even stones flew past us…
“The mockers did not come to be healed. It was the miserable ones who had great love for the Lord that came and they said:
‘If it’s His will, heal me a sinner!…’.
“And they were healed. We praised Jesus and the Father and said:
‘Go and do not sin again!’.
“And the Power of the Father was in us.
“In this way we mastered the law of the Higher Power: There must be no one between the one whom you are helping and God: any trace of ‘I’ does not allow the Power of the Father to flow… The Father can manifest Himself through your body only if there is no you as a lower ‘I’.
“It could not be mastered at once. But with time, it became more and more easy to be a Vine!”
“When You went preaching — without money, without any support except God — how did You get by, how did You survive?”
“We thought about this least of all. Sometimes we were given a feast, sometimes — a beating. In this way we went preaching with Jesus; in this way each of us went afterward according to his lot…
“And if we remained hungry, it meant that the Bread of the Lord had not satiated the souls to whom we had come, and we grieved only that they remained hungry…
“Or, if the seed of the Lord’s words fell on rocky soil, how could we grieve for being stoned if we knew that the seeds of His Love would not sprout there?!
“It is easy to live with absolute faith! Jesus taught Us this: If you have to accept death, you accept it! If God prolongs your life, you serve Him!
“It is so easy! — to trust Him absolutely, Who is with you and in you! Your strengths, your hands, your mouth, your thoughts serve Him, and He will provide to you all the rest: all that He considers necessary for you…
“Each day of life increased His Glory and brought us closer to Him!
“The more time passed the less of the former Andrew remained in me, and the more was of Andrew the First-Called — Jesus’ Andrew, Andrew-Son of the Heavenly Father…
“And, crucified on a cross, True Andrew preached. When the guards wanted to release Me, they could not even come near…
“I was coming to Jesus!
“The Father willed it so: I was going away — to Him!…
“… It was easy for us! It was much easier for us than for Others Who reached the Father! Since the moment we saw Jesus for the first time, He was with us.
“We were not like rivers which have to make their way. No: we merged with a great River that had already made Its way to the Ocean. Jesus showed us the Way! We walked nearby, we walked with Him just a bit behind! It was easy for us!
“He showed the Way and gave the power to walk! He taught us to unite with the Power of the Father! And each of us wished to complete His Path and enter the Abode of the Father as Jesus did. The cross death was desired by us!
“We walked the Path of Jesus!
“We carried His words to people!
“We did what He entrusted to us!
“Jesus was always with us!
“And now We are — with Him — in the Heavenly Father!”
* * *
“Affliction comes when man remains alone, without God.
“If man lives not for God, affliction comes.
“One must not live so! One must live in Me and for Me!
“… The first feat of the soul on the Path to the Father is the feat of being aware of His constant presence. Then one begins to live feeling oneself before Him. Then ‘on His scales’ one weighs all thoughts and deeds…
“The second feat of the soul is the feat of serving Him. Every thought and deed must be done for Him.
Through mergence of the first two feats one realizes full devotion to Him.
“The summit of the soul’s life is the third feat — Mergence — when you give yourself to Him entirely and do not think about yourself anymore, forgetting the personal — in Great Love for Him! Then the great sacrament of Joining, Reunification is possible. When everything that was you becomes love and is given as a gift to Him — then the giver disappears because you have given away everything, including yourself.
“The one who comes into Him says: ‘There is only You — Father!’
“The One Who comes out from Him says: ‘I and the Father are One!’
“And then the Highest becomes possible — that which Jesus demonstrated to people by His life. This means that one realizes the Mission, being not an individuality anymore!”